Everybody who knows me, really ... knows that I don't fully function as a human being for at least an hour or so after I wake up. I need quiet time by myself sipping two mugs of coffee and smoking a couple or two to speed up the process. Nature calls in between coffee and smokes. Others spend their quiet time on the throne with either a magazine or a book. I rather indulge myself with thoughts ... whatever thoughts. I may or may not be looking at my bedroom ceiling but wherever I maybe staring at ... it's within my own little world. Caught up in there. Whatever it is that may cross my mind like those that are burried, put aside or dreamt about. Sometimes silly, sometimes sad ... well, there are times when they are really quite depressing. Sometimes, happy thoughts as in wishes and dreams. Tribulations ... everything and anything that does not have to make sense and if it ever does, it does not even matter to anybody but me. During these wakening hours, I awaken. Any disturbance or intervention of this morning ritual screws up my day ... the life I try to live one day at a time. Of course, there are pleasant twists like when I'm just about to open my eyes and I feel a kiss ... or warm flesh beside me ... or smell of freshly brewed coffee by my side. Waking hours that I've spent staring out the window, watching the grass grow. Staring at sea and watching dolphins go by. Waking hours either make or break the day.
Everyday, I somehow ponder. My significant other chuckles for she says that my mind has no ability to stop thinking just for a second, that it forever ticks ... So when I say "I was thinking ... or I was wondering ..." She always laughs. These are the cobwebs of my mind ... the passage through my soul or should I say, the path my soul goes leading to my heart ... to me ...
Everyday, I somehow think of how the previous days went and what I should tackle for the day ahead. I look forward to tomorrow for better days to come and keep that smile in my heart ...
YESTERDAY, I found out that a former employee, a friend passed away. He served me well, very well in fact that there were times that I really missed having him around after he resigned. I wish that may his soul finally be at peace for he was lost, searching but not finding any tangible thing to hold on dearly. I've often wish I could do something for him while he was around. I didn't know any way but just to let him go as he pleased. He was a good friend.
Death is not a bad thing. I sometimes even feel envy for those who die, free from this harsh cruel world ... God bless the souls that have gone back to heaven.
God bless you, Joey.