What do you want to be when you grow up?
A question we often ask kids, a question we were asked when we were kids and perhaps, even wrote an essay or two for english class ... the "what-did-you-do-last-summer-stuff-kind-of-thing. I sort of talked to my nephew, the youngest one last summer, for the sake of my very-disappointed-mother. My birth brother's whole family have been living off her in the sense that she still pays for his house's water bills and stuff. My mother sent his sons to college and the last of them, the youngest went for two years and just decided to drop out. A taste of earning his own money, worked at Bread Connection and got cozy, taking his sweet time forgetting about his grandmother's dilemma over his not finishing any course in college. So over and over again, repeatedly and constantly, my mother would say in dismay how much money she spent that he wasted for having enrolled two years in college and then just dropping out. It would be okay if my nephew is the one who suffers hearing the story over and over again. I've tried every possible reasons in trying to soothe my mother's bitchiness over the subject matter. Finally, I decided to tap into my nephew's shoulder and give him a little push, some sort of encouragement ... a little push to get him going. He always had it in him, music. But being the last of three children, he seems just a tad bit distant from everybodyelse so we, are left into wonderment as to what's going on with him ... his mind ... his life ...
I remember him answering that particular question a decade ago. He wanted to be an architect. And sometime when he was still in highschool, he answered the same question but at the time, he wanted to be a teacher ... something like a history teacher of some sort. I never got to ask him the same question when he finished highschool and he never seemed to be around when I was in town. The last time I really bonded with him was when he just tagged along with me at dog shows ... I got him a dog that apparently he never really ended up caring for because Benjie took care of Cohjie more. So, I suggested in the most subtle way ... enrolled him at Tom Lee's for guitar lessons. I showed him some stupid music softwares and told him the things he could do that I myself am interested in doing. I mentioned that right after college I went down in L.A. and checked out some of the specialized schools that offerend courses on becoming a sound technician of some sort. I am happy that he checked out schools of that nature. He said he needed to write up a 500-word essay as why he wanted to become an Audio Engineer. Anything with engineer to me means math and it gives me this visual splash of algebraic formulas!!! That's why, after I have inquired in the L.A. School of Sound Reinforcements, I never submitted the essay they asked of me. But the thought of being a Sound Engineer is really cool.
I guess, it is true that as parents, people try to enforce to their children things they wanted to do but couldn't. That kids are actually their extentions. So, I suppose, I might really be some sort of a disappointment to my mother for not really turning out the way she envisioned me to be. It's not like if you bear your own kids because when you do, the situation does not entirely give you a choice. But when you choose to have a kid like say, adopt one, a choice more or less is made. So, all you can ponder about is that nagging feeling of "where have I gone wrong with the choice I made?"
I'm turning 44 this year and I am still asking myself what I want to be when I grow up. I've tried a lot of things and not only that, I've even succeeded in most of the things that I thought I wanted to be only to find out that they were things I really didn't care much for. I just thought they were what I wanted. There are still a lot more other things I want to be. It would be cool to have a Phd added to my name. I still want to be a Veterinarian. I do want to be a Professional Show Handler, a Dog Trainer, a Canine Behaviourist. Hey, I said Professional ... which means I want to get paid for it or make some sort of living and earning my keep from it. Like I want to be a Journalist, a Writer or a Photographer on a professional level like my works getting published and not by me. I still want to be a renowned Director or Producer. Yes, I've had some experience in producing shows and concerts, record albums and stuff like that but what I want is to make big money out of it and not the nickel and dime deals.
The eldest of the three nephews when asked the same question replied ... "I wanna do whatever Ninang does." Of course, to him, what I did was totally just a concept or should I say, an impression I gave. He didn't exactly know what I was doing. He was just around me and was totally fascinated with all the gadgets I was toying with. He watched me mixing turntables and browsed through my vast collection of audio tapes. He saw me doing graphics on the computer at the time when multi-media was still at its roots. He say me pressing buttons on VCR's editing and putting together presentations. It was something he envisioned himself doing, something to do with the arts ... an expression of himself. I am happy for him. I like what he's doing now ... Hmmm, now if i can only have his job. Heehee.
The middle one at first wanted to be a veterinarian then convinced himself for awhile that he would like to spend the rest of his life looking at mouths, gums and teeth smelling different breath aromas. But of course, I suppose when he realized that becoming a dentist involves being in front of someone's mouth, he was then left undecided as to what he really wanted to do. He finished his four year course but somehow, Lola is not too impressed and wants him to go back for another 4 to 6 years more to become a Doctor of Medicine which means BIG MONEY. Now if he ever goes back to school, he could might as well go back just for a year to please Lola and end up as a Professor. He could then also further his studies and become a Phd of some sort and end up as hmmm ... Scientist?
But it does seem time is running out when growing up means becoming a grown-up.
To my beloved nephews, enjoy your life ... enjoy it while you can, every second and every minute of it!
My babies need to get laid.
Oh ... maybe someday, my blogs will get noticed and a publisher will come along and these streaming thoughts compounded would one day be a bestseller ...
Then I get to tour and travel, signing autographs and getting featured on TV talk shows.
And maybe, my babies will get laid finally. Heehee.