My Mother Has Always Been The Cause Of Stress In My Life

I am really worried about my mother. Things are coming out of her. First it's the bruises and lately it's the bumps.

Too Old For The Cyber Generation

I can't get myself to focus on the unfinished websites that need to be dealt with. It's not that I am at a lost. The outline is set; the pictures and images are all there and everything else. I just don't feel like sitting down and working on it. I do want the websites up and running. It's just that there's this feeling of I am missing out on something while I am in front of the computer monitor and keyboard at hand. It's like there's more to life than being stuck doing the webpages. There's this lump of energy build-up that I feel the need to do something other than sit in front of the computer. There's gotta be more to life than this ...

It's been a nagging feeling inside. I couldn't understand before how one can just sit in front of the computer and play chess or solitaire or be a part of a cyber-community, a make-believe world of houses and stuff which includes cyber-weddings ... LOL. And so I tried immersing myself with the very thing that eluded me the most. I signed up with forums and stuff, interacted with people and ...

Oh well, am not really cut out for this crap.

Long Day

Good long day I spent today! I was up and about as early as 5:30 am (been like that for the past days but what's different today is that I no longer feel like I'm suffering from jetlag of some kind). We're feeding seven puppies thrice a day. I must admit that this is probably the first time I'm enjoying actually rearing puppies. There comes a time when one is confident enough through experience and you know exactly what to do and what not to do. And you also come to a point when you start experimenting more and getting a little more creative and you come up with alternative ways of doing things. My girlfriend and I are trying to teach 4-week-old puppies how to sit already as in clicker training them at this point. I'm starting the pups on the show stance.

It's tiring but quite fulfilling, I tell ya! Since yesterday, we've been out in the yard playing dog-trainer and enjoying time with the dogs. Our dogs seem to be enjoying us too. It's really cool hanging around, getting sunlight... down and dirty and stinky ... LOL! It's fun!

It's also amusing how one dog picks up commands easily and there are those that are not so blessed ... duh. Just like people, I suppose. I still prefer dogs to people even if they're the duh bunch. It's still easier to motivate them. They rarely hold a grudge. They try very hard. And they are happy even if you scream, shout and correct them.

As for dog people, there are different types. I'm sure those show enthusiasts are missing out on the fun real dog lovers have. My girlfriend and I were talking about the different types of dog people. Those we normally hang around at shows talk about the bloodlines, the blue ribbons and points... judges and like the latest upcoming litter or the planned breeding they are about to do as soon as their bitches come on heat. Seldom do we hear them tell stories about what "their" dog did recently or what "their" dog's favorite past time is. It sometimes annoy me when so-called dog people don't even notice the things their dogs do and we take notice. What dogs do always make my heart smile.

I really enjoyed today. I taught a couple of my dogs a minimum of 3 commands. And we have this 7 week old Belgian Sheepdog pup that my girlfriend started training yesterday-she could do 4 commands by today: sit, paw, down and rollover! It's really cool...
Thank you for a nice day! God bless you all!!!

Good Or Bad?

Hmmm ... if it's not good, is it bad? I'm in such a state of been there... done that. I am bored.

Not good.

So, is it bad?

On Retirement

Somehow... the idea of retirement is still vague. What is retirement really? And what is this thing called semi-retirement? When I indulge myself of this notion and converse with friends, they do point it out to me that I am somewhat semi-retired. It's a state in which, I suppose, one can do what they want to do, whatever pleases one's whimsical desire at the moment and not really worry or just enjoying life as it comes. But I have always lived my life enjoying every second of it. I have always done whatever pleases me and rarely do I worry about unnecessary things. So being semi-retired is no different after all ... And here I am worrying about this thing called semi-retirement or retirement for that matter. Maybe because I really don't know what it is... fear of the unknown? All the opinions and cliches I am told doesn't really make much sense which is alleviating my fear of what it really is.

I have imagined myself about seven years ago as semi-retired, waking up to chirping birds and playing with my dogs... sitting with my legs up and watching the leaves sway where the wind blows sipping a cup of good brewed coffee. I imagined myself painting, drawing... strolling down the garden with dogs running alongside. I imagined myself travelling and seeing places I have never seen with my beloved ones, enjoying quiet time with a smile in my heart. Yes, of course, let us not forget the dog shows or get-together with friends, lounging around and exchanging chit-chats. Bubble baths, jacuzzis and hand in hand with someone very dear... smile in my heart. Funny that while I was imagining all these, all these were happening at the same time too. And now I find myself not doing these things when people tell me that I am actually semi-retired. So what do I do now?

Hmmm ... weird.

SCREAMMMMMM!!!

I don't know how stupid one can get! I don't know about this blogging thing. I just finished the last sentence of my blog ... have reread it over to check and recheck... typos and stuff and finally, a sigh of relief. I was happy with what I blogged and it did kind of clear my state of mind in a way which is actually the reason why I started this blog site but NO!!! I pressed the wrong button and instead and signed out before I posted it!!! Page expired... AAAARGGGHHH!!!

AAARRRRGGGGHHHH! One gruelling week-end or at least ... that's how I thought it would be! Haha! I actually enjoyed it, had fun and found more about myself eh. I just finished the check-out dive for the Rescue Course that I started taking last week. Yes, I was apprehensive and had mixed feelings about it. I didn't really know what made me enroll in just a sec without much thought. I just did one day and there I was catching up with the on-going class. I watched like 4 PADI videos in one night. My girlfirend wanted me to take the course for the longest time and I just like looked at her. She's been egging me to and couldn't place my psyche as to how I really feel about it nor what really was my stand. I was, I suppose undecided. The stories I heard from all the friends that took the course like how their bones ached for a week after their check-out and that kind of stuff made me freeze. And our dear instructor beforehand said that he was dropping us off 800 meters or more away from the resort in the middle of the ocean and we should swim back to shore just frightened me all the more as to what can happen. Hmmmm ...

It isn't that bad at all. My bones and muscles aren't even aching as I expected nor is it aching as bad the very first times I rode motorcycles. I also thought I was really out of shape from just staying in front of the computer and without a life. And geez, I made the 800 meter swim, floating and sightseeing all the way and I even enjoyed it. We did it like 6 am and the water was just fine. At least now, I know that in any event our boat sinks, I do have a great chance of surviving and making it back to shore. The course in itself is not hard. It's actually good as it prepares one for emergencies and stuff. I'm also taking Medic First Aid which is one course I should have taken a long time ago. It's good I am taking it now since mom is really getting old, I should be well-prepared.

And I suppose I made my girlfriend happy since now she's a little more confident and secured with the fact that in any event something happens, I at least know what to do. She does have a different way of pushing me into doing things but it does get me going. It works. I love her.